How to Rely on Yourself
Some people wish for someone to be by their side no matter what they do. In intimate relationships, they always hope to receive care, support, protection, love, and forgiveness from their partner. For some, the absence of someone to rely on makes life feel impossible. When they receive constant messages filled with strong demands, their partner may eventually feel the urge to rebel. They need their own space and can't provide everything. When this demand becomes excessive, they may wish to leave their dreams and reality in the hands of the other person, who is likely to feel burdened.
We are certainly alive. However, those who want their existence to be validated by others often feel an emptiness inside. They may not feel this emptiness when surrounded by people, but when alone, they can hear a vague, irritating sound echoing in their minds. Such individuals sometimes lose their sense of direction in life and question their self-worth. They may feel powerless in relationships and envy those who live freely and comfortably. It’s as if their minds constantly whisper that there’s nothing meaningful in life. They continuously need respect from others. When they feel disrespected, they lose their sense of direction, and that emptiness can erase their existence.
No One Can Completely Fill Your Loneliness
Those who always need someone feel fear and anxiety. The only way they feel assured of their existence is by tightly binding themselves to someone they can rely on, never letting go. They don't just need someone; they need to heal past wounds. It’s essential to strive for a balanced, mutually supportive relationship rather than a parasitic one.
Experience Your Own Existence
Ordinary people don’t need a partner or friend to be with them all day long. They can psychologically feel their presence without necessarily contacting anyone and can even feel comfortable and unburdened.
For some, being alone goes beyond emptiness and becomes fear and distress. If they don’t meet anyone for an entire day, they find themselves in a state of psychological deprivation, feeling they have no one who needs them. This can lead them to believe they have no value and be consumed by extreme anxiety. These individuals feel they exist only because of others, and they can only feel their presence through interaction with others.
Do you feel like you don't know the meaning of existence and what you want? Or do you think you don't exist if no one shows interest in you? If so, you’re likely in a state where you can't recognize your own self-worth and can't even grasp your fluctuating emotions. Try to increase your experiences that allow you to feel your existence. No matter how much you like someone, it’s impossible to face and handle all the struggles on their behalf. In an intimate relationship, you don’t have to help the other person shake off all their negative emotions either. While it’s easy to be misled into thinking there’s a hero who will save you from everything, you’re likely to be disappointed soon after. You can’t expect to fulfill all your desires from just one source. Believing that a close relationship should satisfy all your needs is unrealistic. Remember that you can find fulfillment not only in relationships but also in work, leisure, and interactions with other people.
If you find yourself listing more than ten needs that your partner must satisfy, it may indicate that the relationship isn't sustainable. You shouldn’t think that someone can save your life.
Let go of the desire to take care of everything for the other person. Learning that there’s no perfect relationship can make your valuable relationships more genuine and comfortable. While depending on others isn’t inherently bad, seeking a variety of sources for support in different areas of life can be the key to breaking free from repeated disappointments.
